dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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