i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
