he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
