nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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