Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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