therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
it was like eating out sand paper
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
