id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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