I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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