I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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