yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
