I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
