Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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