The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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