# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
