Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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