New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
