When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
