Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize