I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i dont even know how to be here
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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