I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize