I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
