Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
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and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
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Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
