How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
