Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.

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(516): I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos. http://tfl.nu/v11h

Replies (8) Good night (1680) Bad night (517)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."

(716): View more from New York

lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.

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(267): Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious." (716): lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus. http://tfl.nu/bbah

Replies (4) Good night (750) Bad night (1971)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?

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(630): I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward? http://tfl.nu/ncf8

Replies (36) Good night (723) Bad night (2919)
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(630): View more from Illinois

life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun

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(630): life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun http://tfl.nu/2zbz

Replies (29) Good night (1181) Bad night (3038)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?

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(203): he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat? http://tfl.nu/b9c7

Replies (162) Good night (2394) Bad night (36303)
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(614): View more from Ohio

mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.

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(614): mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her. http://tfl.nu/npv7

Replies (6) Good night (1087) Bad night (3069)
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(443): View more from Maryland

its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike

(303): View more from Colorado

you still have morals?

(443): View more from Maryland

Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole

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(443): its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike (303): you still have morals? (443): Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole http://tfl.nu/6ecs

Replies (46) Good night (9829) Bad night (1593)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you

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(832): you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you http://tfl.nu/7l95

Replies (9) Good night (843) Bad night (3305)
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(949): View more from California

shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...

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(949): shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do... http://tfl.nu/qae9

Replies (22) Good night (1383) Bad night (3984)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent

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(856): I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent http://tfl.nu/ara2

Replies (6) Good night (2609) Bad night (976)
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(734): View more from Michigan

i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.

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(734): i seriously wanted to pee on her right then. http://tfl.nu/4s0s

Replies (15) Good night (1852) Bad night (2566)
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(416): View more from Toronto

I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?

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(416): I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS? http://tfl.nu/n2hz

Replies (11) Good night (2390) Bad night (544)
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(951): View more from California

Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.

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(951): Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night. http://tfl.nu/gbx1

Replies (10) Good night (1085) Bad night (558)
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(614): View more from Ohio

I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.

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(614): I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am. http://tfl.nu/znur

Replies (3) Good night (677) Bad night (310)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.

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(614): Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane. http://tfl.nu/2bgv

Replies (6) Good night (1563) Bad night (307)

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