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its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
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