He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
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Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.