On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
