Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
