Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
