I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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