god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
