This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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