it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
