i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize