I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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