She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
