After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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