He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize