Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm too high and old for this...
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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