I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
