I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
jump out the window naked night went bad
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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