im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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