Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
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I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
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Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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