hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I pour the whiskey from now on
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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