If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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