i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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