i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
