The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
