Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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