just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
