i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
So squirting runs in the family.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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