You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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