Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
