im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
