..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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