i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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