So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
