it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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