morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
