you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
