when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
