in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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