so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
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Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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