ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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