I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
